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Exploring Obstacles

considering alternatives

Myths and Objections

10/1/2017

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Common Myths & Objections to recording life stories and why they are just not true
 

1.     “Who wants to hear about me?”
Your family and friends do. They really do even though you may not think so right now. You are unique and your life experiences are too. You can describe times, places, and people that only you can share. To your family and close friends, YOU are who they care about—more so than movie stars, sports heroes, or politicians. They would like to read your book.
2.     “My kids and grandkids already know me.”
They don’t know you as well as they could or should. If you’re not intentional about it, your children and grandchildren will just know you as a parent or grandparent. They will only see you in one dimension—instead there are multiple dimensions of your life. You were once a child, a teen, a student, a worker, and much, much more. All of these details will be lost if they are not recorded. Build a rich legacy for the next generation so they can really know you.
3.     “I don’t have children or grandchildren. What’s the point?”
You have a legacy even if you don’t have children or grandchildren. You have loved ones—friends and siblings, nieces and nephews perhaps—that would like your story recorded. Plus, you can use this opportunity to get to know yourself better. Do you realize what you have accomplished over the years? Life review helps you recognize the joys and challenges you have experienced at different stages of life. Perhaps by reflecting on the past and present, you can build a crystal clear map for the future! You might learn some new things about yourself that could affect the way you live the rest of your life. Plus, you’ll actually begin to see how the pieces of your life’s journey have come together to make you who you are.
4.     “I am not a writer.”
It doesn’t matter. Do the best you can. Just say it! If you can answer a question, you can write your life story. Your family and friends will appreciate the “voice” that comes through when you write your own memories and experiences for yourself.
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Writing Challenges

10/1/2017

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Writing about your experiences is not always easy. There are challenges and obstacles both within ourselves and from others. Challenges from feeling we don't have time. have too many distractions, don't know how to start, how to keep going, putting things off, not knowing what to keep and how much to say and many others. Another challenges is what others may feel, think or judge.
There are always “down” times. Times when you feel you don’t have anything to write, times when you wonder if it is worth all the trouble or times you feel you don’t have time “for all this.” Also it’s not easy to write about difficult experiences especially if they impacted your life in a serious way.

​Plan ahead for these times and situations

​Personal Challenges //Alternatives
​If you have a tendency to  procrastination, consider prioritizing, creating a structure of what you do or have to do, setting up a timeline for your writing and research
If one of your challenges is the lack of time- consider creating a 24 hour or a one week table. Write down what you do for each day and hour. Determine where you have 'free' time or time you could set aside for your writings.  What day (days) of the week and what time. Schedule it and keep the schedule. You may have to delegate responsibilities to others (if you have that opportunity). Or you may have to modify you behavior even maybe getting up earlier in the morning. This is what you said you want to do, so you need to work out a schedule.
​Another challenge- you might be feeling overwhelmed. Again structure what needs to be done, prioritizing as needed. Organize and see what you have, what you need. Take a class to help with the concerns and limitations. When you can't think of things to write-or the brain is tired from writing about yourself, Consider; editing your already written stories;  Doing research.;  Work on things listed in your “to do” list; Work on learning new or easier computer skills or solving computer problems.  Work on modifying your pictures. Read other books on memories and autobiographies and see how they did it..      
It is a rare life that does not contain struggles with difficult emotions and experiences. Sharing your life story with others is an awkward problem. You cannot write about yourself without including something about family or friends.  You must consider;
  • Feelings of other people in your life.
  • Disclosure of hidden information or  experience.
  • Disagreements about events,   OR different interpretations about the same event.
  • Unreliability of memory. and possibility of Pain of stirring up old emotions
 It could be helpful to create a plan and list ideas on how to overcome personal reluctance/ procrastination/ apathy/fear of judgments/ disagreement by others/ inflicting of painful memories plus whatever else challenges to change your writings.
A question many wrestle with.
If you knew what you wrote would hurt someone’s feelings, would you include it in your story? Would you write it?


Writing about painful memories is difficult. It takes courage to tell the truth. Yet, often when three persons see the same thing, you can have three different versions. All families have secrets and it's ok to leave them out. Yet choosing not to write may be loss in helping yourself and others understand and deal with the pain caused by the difficulty.

Writing allows us to gain and learn. It is a cathartic in the same way as talking to a friend, loved one or even a stranger. Choosing not to write may be your loss; It takes courage to tell the truth.
​
Some ideas;
  • “Talk about the writings-tell those concerned its value and importance
  • ​'Tell this is the way I saw it”
  • “This is the way I feel”
  •   Tell others to   “Feel free to write your own version”
  •   Have others write a chapter (story) in your book. Or write a comment to your version
Comments from a few authors;
A writer is always going to betray somebody. If you’re going to be honest with your subject, you can’t be genteel.                                                                                  Ted Morgan
You have to assume that the act of writing is the most important of all. If you start worrying about people’s feelings, then you get nowhere at all.                         Norman Mailer
The value of every story depends on its being true. A story is a picture of an individual or of human nature in general; if it is false, it is a picture of nothing.                      Samuel Johnson     
You don’t write because you want to say something; you write because you have something to say.                                                                                                           F. Scott Fitzgerald
 
So trust your own voice, put things and your own approach to these stories. The way it feels right to you. Don’t fret if you offend someone writing. Wait until you’ve written all of your story, and then you can make some changes if necessary. Final decision may be NOT IF you write the difficult things BUT HOW!!
REMEMBER this is YOUR story. Write the story you want to.


                            
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Listing personal materials and what's needed

10/1/2017

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Now that you’ve considered writing your story, where do you get the material needed for your story? What resources do you have or want to help you develop those stories? Do you have any questions or concerns about what else you might need?
 First let’s think of what you already have and then we can discuss what you may need or the research possible to enhance what you have.
Resources-Personal
Consult your mem­ory first and then the ideas that will add cohesion to your stories. Items such as journals, letters, photographs, poems, recipes, maps, documents etc. that relate to your experiences.
1.     Begin with a single photo, letter or family tale and use that to stir up memories.
2.     List people and objects. Take your time. Allow the memories to wash over you.
3.     Jot down things that occur to you.
4.     Make list of jobs, moves to new homes, activities, special occasions etc.
5.     Maps- Where were the travels?
6.     Make a genealogy chart that shows- Who your parents were and what links you to other people in your story.
                ​Consider doing at least a couple of generations
​Suggestions
​·Do free style writings- Just write, don’t spend time at the beginning editing and over organizing. This can stop the flow of ideas
Write your stories, organizing as you go along.
Organize by creating an outline of what you have. Change as needed.
Research what could add more information or detail
Read other books on memoirs, bibliographies. Reading gives you ideas and suggestions. See what other have done and how they did it
Edit, combine and modify  stories, chapters, pages etc. when you have completed several or when you have a lull in figuring out what to do.
Process
1.Decide a place to keep your material. Have a section for each item on the outline.       
2.Begin organizing these documents now. (File cabinet, notebook, computer- and where on the computer, tablet or other device)
3.Create stories- pick a topic and begin writing a few paragraphs. i.e.. What personal crises did you go through-.    remember to ask yourself---- What happened/when/why/how/where.
c.  Don't worry if some details are left out. They will be the basis of your research.
Computer
Templates  (Family History Guide)
·       Computer dictation programs
Internet: 
Google listing for write the story of your life (10/2017)
            111,000,000.
Write your memoirs  1,680,000 results (10/2017)
Write your memoirs in 6 months)4,450,000
Plus listing on books on publishing, and “how to
.......” 
Outside Resources
Libraries, books- articles on writing in papers, magazines to get historical items; ;Major events in history
Community centers and Senior centers for continuing education classes
Geographical areas-where your life activity took place--any change in appearance? rake a picture (before and present)
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